My Last Thoughts Were Of You
by Laserfire
Summary: Beckendorf's thoughts of Silena as he dies.


**Disclaimer: Not Rick Riordan**

**Beckendorf as he 's directing his thoughts at Silena. Sorry in advance for sappiness but I hope you like.**

Death was always a contemplated situation for a half-blood. Whether it would be through monsters, weapons or other half-bloods, it was always there, looming it's ugly head as a constant reminder of who we are. What I was.

I'd never really been afraid of death. v kind of physcho worries about death 24/7? I didn't and I don't regret not thinking about it. My only regret was you. Silena Beauregard.

You were the love of my life. I know, a child of a god who's own mother threw him off the top of Olympus, I never thought I stood a chance with any of the girls at camp, let alone the most beautiful daughter of Aphrodite. You were never vain, though. Not like your sisters who slaved away at a mirror day to day.

No. You were unique. Your blue eyes shined like little aquamarines.

I remember the first time I spoke to you. Breakfast one morning. You were behind me in our line of the fire and someone from behind pushed us forward and you banged into me. It wasn't a hard push but you insisted on apologising.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Charles."

Your voice so apologetic all I could manage was an "um, gah". You smiled but turned away. Five words and I was nearly ready to propose. Well, not quite but you know what I mean.

After that we used to talk if we bumped into each other. I fell in love with your laugh and your smile. To me, you were better in comparison to any girl I'd met.

Then the day of the fireworks came. I remember the way you starting fussing over me and making a scratch out to be a bullet wound to a major artery. I didn't mind though. It was the only reason I had enough courage to ask you if you would go with me to the firework display. You actually said that you thought I'd never ask.

After that, we started dating. I doubt I'd been happier in my life when we found out we'd been accepted into the same college. I was seriously in love with you. And my regret was that I'd never told you how much you meant to me. The day of my mission was the first day I'd told you I loved you. And you told me you loved me. So I was pretty much on high the day we went to destroy the cruise ship.

Percy was in a fancy-looking car with a small red-head. Probably the one Annabeth griped about when she thought no one was listening. Rachel something, I thought as I landed on the hood of the car and she stared at me incredulously.

"S'up Percy."

He looked disappointed.

"Time?"

I nodded. I was sort of sad that I'd ruined his moment but I doubted that it meant anything compared to Annabeth in his mind, though, in your exact words. 'they're both so cute! Too naive to admit it!"

He looked at her apologetically and she said she'd explain to his mum so we were pretty much set to go until she did something which would probably have resulted in Annabeth stabbing her and running her over repeatedly in the Prius. She lent over and kissed him.

"I suppose you don't want me to tell Annabeth about that little scene?"

"Oh gods no!"

I laughed as we flew on Percy's favourite pegasus, Blackjack.

Our plan was fairly simple. I asked Annabeth why, and she said that she wanted to make it easier for Percy's brain capacity to handle. Just plant the stuff and get out. We could watch it go up as we left just as long as we left in one piece.

I couldn't help thinking that Annabeth said the last part more for Percy's sake than mine but I stayed quiet.

Before we started our plan, I looked at the photo of you. Your beautiful smile. It made me smile just by looking.

The start of the plan worked as we split up and I went to plant the stuff in the engine room. I programmed my detonator and left quietly. About three idiots intercepted me on my way back. It was pretty easy to fool them into thinking that I was headed for the engine room instead of out of it and they ate it up.

They brought me forward to Kronos. I was pretty shocked to see Percy there with his sword held up. I don't really remember what happened next but just me feeling that it was taking years to press the detonator. I motioned for Percy to get out. He wouldn't budge. But if anything happened to him, he'd land in the water, which was his domain.

As I pressed down, it felt like the entire ship shook. It turned out it did shake, pretty violently.

I was thrown against the side of the ship. The others were too but released their grip on me. I gripped the side of the barrier and tried to haul myself up but the bomb was too strong. The suction held me down and I couldn't fight it. Then the floor fell from beneath me.

My last thought was of you. How much I loved you and how happy you made me in my last few months. You made my mind spin by just being near me. Now, my Silena, my last minutes of life were for you. I held on to life just to think of you so that I might be happy in this minute of pain.

Don't dwell over this too much. You should be happy. You made me happy in ways no one else could and I can't thank you enough for being with me. You'll get older, marry some guy and you'll be happy and I won't mind. Just as long as you're as happy as I was.

Because I love you.

**Sniff.**

**I swear I nearly cried writing that last part. And I know in the book, he says he's waiting for someone but I think he only finds out that she's coming when he actually dies. He hasn't died yet.**

**Review. =)**


End file.
